Reprint of an interview for Business Woman & Life magazine and website.
The voice of internal criticism, invalidating one’s own needs, and ruthless demands on oneself are common, though not the only, problems that businesswomen report to Marta Kramer, a coach at the Warsaw-based company Nowe Widoki.
BWL: Who should seek coaching support and when? What signs might indicate that it is time to look for support?
MK: Coaching is primarily intended to maximize professional and personal potential, so a good time to start working with a coach is when you are open to change and self-reflection. This moment may coincide with a favorable period in your career or personal development, when you want to get to know your resources better, take a look at yourself, and think about how to steer your career in the future. However, most often, coaching online is sought by people looking for a companion in a dynamic, sometimes difficult professional situation. There are as many scenarios as there are clients. They may need a change in their career path, but have trouble crystallizing their priorities and preferences; they face a challenge, for example, they want to become a better manager, build resilience to stress, or work on their self-confidence. Anyone looking for a partner in development can sit in the chair opposite me.
BWL: How can we recognize that a coach is the right person for us, that we should seek support from a coach rather than a psychotherapist, friend, or business advisor?
MK: One of my coaching trainers uses a dental metaphor to illustrate the difference between a coach and a psychotherapist, which I find very appealing. A psychotherapist is like a dentist—you go to them when you have a toothache and need treatment. A coach is like a dental hygienist – they teach you how to brush your teeth properly and take care of your health. If we are generally functioning well on a daily basis, without chronic depression or anxiety, panic attacks or any other conditions indicating mental health problems, we can turn to a coach. There is no need to worry that we will end up in the wrong place. A qualified coach, seeing that a client has problems requiring the care of a psychotherapist, will refer them to such a specialist. A coach does not treat, does not impose ready-made solutions like a consultant, nor is he or she a trainer who teaches in the field in which he or she is an expert. Moreover, unlike a friend, a coach will not refer to his or her own professional or private life. A coach’s primary role is to ask questions that help the client engage in deeper reflection and examine their resources, talents, and beliefs. They create a space where the client and their aspirations are at the center.
photo: Barbara Sinica
BWL: At Nowe Widoki, you provide coaching for women. What is specific about it: does a coach working with women use different tools and methods than when working with men?
MK: As a coach, I work with both women and men, but I specialize in coaching women in business. Women’s experiences in the professional field and in self-development have certain elements in common, resulting largely from the way they were raised in childhood and what they received in the process of socialization. This is then reflected in how women perceive themselves, their resources and responsibilities, the risks they are willing to take, and how they present themselves in various professional situations. The professional environment also perpetuates stereotypical assumptions about women and men. We therefore see women who refrain from negotiating their terms of employment; who believe that they are not good enough in their role; who impose on themselves a perfectionist obligation to perform their duties at work and at home perfectly. My role is to support my clients in bringing out the resources that are often blocked by beliefs of this kind; to accompany them in their aspirations or changes, for which they often have excellent competences – all they need is access to the powers that are within their reach. I find these processes fascinating, and the results achieved by women who are aware of their strengths and talents show that investing in coaching processes is an investment that benefits not only the clients themselves, but also the communities in which they operate.
BWL: What competencies and professional experience should an effective coach have? What should you base your choice on when looking for long-term support?
MK: I have great confidence in the guidelines and recommendations of the International Coach Federation, which sets out the basics of both the coach’s code of ethics and the key competencies that a coach should master. These competencies are grouped by the ICF into four main areas, which are: the ability to establish rules of cooperation (including recognizing whether we are starting a coaching process or whether a psychotherapist’s office is a better address); co-creating a relationship with the client based on safety and mindfulness; communication (here, the ability to ask questions, which are the coach’s basic tool, is key); and supporting the development process, where it is extremely important to skillfully organize the coaching process around specific actions and goals. Motivational speakers, commonly and mistakenly referred to as coaches, usually do not have this kind of competence, nor is it even their ambition. They stand on the podium and give speeches, which is of course an art, but it should be remembered that real coaching, from which we can expect development in a safe context based on specific knowledge and principles, simply requires thorough preparation and education. Therefore, completed courses, certificates, but also the coach’s offer itself – how they present their way of working and tools – will be a guide in choosing a coach. I always strongly encourage clients to arrange an initial meeting, where they can get to know the coach, his or her manner, and hear about the methodology they practice.
BWL: Should a coach also be a business practitioner?
MK: In the case of life coaching, which is more firmly rooted in the private sphere, there is no such need. However, in the sphere of business coaching and personal development, my own knowledge of business dynamics certainly helps me a lot. While a coach does not need to familiarize themselves with the details of their client’s company or industry, their experience of the realities of business, the specifics of social phenomena occurring in companies, and even their observations of human behavior in this world are a wellspring from which a coach can draw when listening to clients and supporting their careers.
BWL: What problems or needs do your clients most often come to you with?
MK: The stories and contexts vary, and the topics raised by clients can relate to building business relationships, overcoming stagnation in professional development, the desire to improve their team management style… there are many. However, there are several underlying problems that often emerge in coaching processes as a common denominator. I will give three examples, with the bold assumption that many readers will recognize something familiar in them. First, the inner critic. The voice we have known since childhood, which takes away our confidence, makes us doubt our own abilities, and readily punishes us for the slightest failures, even those beyond our control. Secondly, high and ruthless demands on oneself, through which clients perceive their activities. Especially during the pandemic, many women have turned against themselves with an endless list of tasks and activities that they should undertake, since they are sitting at home all day. Making these kinds of plans that are doomed to fail leads to feelings of guilt, which can really block your potential. Thirdly, frustration resulting from meeting the expectations of those around you (real or imagined) while ignoring your own needs. We are sometimes able to work late, sacrifice our health and time to push in a direction that we are not at all drawn to, nurturing the belief that this is what our partner, mother, or society in general expects of us, which in this form implements the concept of an ambitious, professionally active woman. These are complex issues, but they are not entirely unfamiliar to clients. Examining them, questioning them, reformulating them, and finally finding alternative beliefs within ourselves is work that can greatly improve our quality of life.
BWL: How can the effectiveness of working with a coach be measured? Are there any objective criteria for evaluating the effectiveness of coaching?
MK: We begin each coaching process by jointly setting the goal we will be working on. Together, we look at what the client wants to achieve, what motivates them, what they will gain, what they will lose, and what will signal to them that the goal has been achieved. Of course, the goal is not set in stone and can be modified if, during the process, the client discovers that the root of the problem lies elsewhere, but we can always consider the effectiveness of the process in the context of the final result in comparison with the initially set goal. A lot will happen on the way to the goal, i.e., during the entire coaching process. The client will confront their own beliefs. They may hear certain questions for the first time in their life. They will learn something new about themselves, discover aspects of everyday life that are simply not conducive to development, but also their own resources that they can immediately start to draw on. Accompanying clients on this journey, observing how their perspective changes, I am convinced that the measure of the effectiveness of our work is also the wealth of insight and experience they gain even before they reach their goal. Because sometimes it is from these that the greatest human potential grows.