Coaching Facts and Myths Nowe Widoki

The five myths about coaching

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The practice of coaching, although relatively new in Poland, has already managed to accumulate many controversial opinions. The Internet in particular has not been kind to it. The appropriation of coaching by pop culture media has overshadowed reliable information about what coaching is and how the practice is carried out. It is in this caricatured pop-cultural image that coaching has been put into the category of attractively packaged substantive blowout, rather than professional support.

Distortions and misrepresentations of the professions abound in the online world, and they especially fall victim to phenomena relatively new to our society, such as coaching and mentoring. They have not yet had time to appear among people in their true essence, which, being less flashy and bright, does not shine through in the media.

Professional consultants as a group of gold-digging charlatans. Meditation teachers as slackers preying on vague Eastern practices. Environmentalists as detached fanatics for halting the development of civilization. These misleading and harmful labels can be multiplied.

Today I’d like to take a look at some facts and myths about coaching that I encounter particularly often – there are probably many more than the ones I’ll list. Some of the phenomena I’ll mention, which are identified with coaching, undoubtedly exist in various guises as a poor quality product for sale. However, it is worthwhile to be able to distinguish them from professional coaching. I invite you to read on.

Myth #1: Coaching as a by-product of corporate culture promotes a culture of forced happiness in isolation from reality (it’s SUPER!!!)

A few years ago I heard from a doctor: “I’m not like a coach, I’m not going to tell you that you can do anything.” I smiled to myself. I imagined a tanned showman in a white suit, who promises that in just a moment you will win, go to the Seychelles and never feel sad again.

Fact: Coaches are very respectful of sadness. Especially in the Acceptance and Commitment coaching stream, we make the assumption that sadness or depression is a valuable experience that informs us of something – maybe we’re scared of something, or there’s a growing sense of guilt? Instead of pasting a fake smile on top, we encourage you to give yourself permission to experience this sadness, to be with it as an emotion we all experience. And at the same time, we invite a perspective in which neither sadness nor bursts of joy define us – because what defines us is the multiplicity and diversity of experiences.

Indeed, I believe that with my female clients it can be great. But first – on their terms, not mine, not TV’s or Instagram’s. And secondly – I believe that the concentration index of this “super” will go up if we unload tons of conditions from our baggage, who we need to become, what to do with our appearance and what relationships to collect in order to be able to say about ourselves that we are OK.

You don’t have to buy anything because you’re worth it. You are worth everything that is best and most important to you – and therefore you really don’t need to buy anything anymore.

5 mitów na temat coachingu Rozwoj Osobisty Nowe Widoki

Myth #2: A coach is an empty salesman and a self-proclaimed expert on everything

Fact: The fundamental difference between a coach and a trainer, consultant or advisor is that a coach enters into cooperation with a client from a “don’t know” perspective.

I don’t know, dear client, what you should do. What you should tell your boss. Where you should get your motivation from. Which professional specialty to choose. How to improve your relationship with your team. And I am not here to lecture you, to convince you, to judge your actions. I am not standing above you. I am standing right next to you. And I will help you find the answers to these questions, because you are the one who has all the ability and competence to do so.

If you see a person on stage telling you that after a month of working with him, people become happy and thank him for all the great advice – that’s not a coach. If someone tells you that after a coaching process with him you will be able to develop absolutely any skill you can think of – that’s not a coach either. And if he promises you that thanks to him you will see how beautiful life is – yes, this is also not a coach. Well, or a coach who has exaggerated a bit.

During the coaching process, we can experiment. We may wonder what it would be like if the client’s goal was achieved with much more momentum than she initially imagined. We focus very much on the client’s skills and resources – those that she realistically has and can draw on, even though she may not have realized it. But we never – NEVER – lie to the client.

And as for an expert on everything – yes, we are experts. Experts in the process of change and development. In everything else, our clients specialize.

Myth #3: A coach can call himself anyone: an Iksinski, a traveler, a sportswoman, an actor; this is not a real profession.

Fact: The practice of coaching is indeed not licensed. Actually, anyone can title themselves a specialist in this field and start taking clients, unlike medical doctors. However, there are educational paths that prepare professional coaches for the profession: schools, courses or studies, as well as certification systems.

One of the main standard-setting and certification organizations, the International Coach Federation, sets rules not only for a coach to become accredited, but also for subsequent practice. These include a coach’s core competencies, including building rapport with client(s), attentiveness, active listening, appropriate communication and creating conditions for growth. For example, a coach declaring practice based on these competencies during meetings will pay attention to the client and put her in the center; talking about oneself and taking up space or pushing one’s own vision of the coaching process will be a manifestation of a lack of these skills or a deliberate departure from them.

What is particularly important for an unlicensed helping or support profession is that the ICF publishes a Code of Ethics. All members of the Federation and ICF-certified coaches undertake to abide by it. The ethical standards specified therein relate to responsibility to

  • the client – e.g., confidentiality and legal or security circumstances that waive the obligation to keep confidentiality,
  • practice – e.g. not undertaking the coaching process if there is a conflict of interest,
  • profession – e.g. declaring one’s skills and presenting the offer truthfully,
  • society – e.g., respecting others’ intellectual property.

What do the core competencies and the Code of Ethics developed by the ICF change? First and foremost, it is the framework on which the coaching profession is based as a professional support in the international sense. It is a guarantee of certain basic, transparent assumptions and standards on which both the client and the coach can rely in their expectations and commitments.

Does this mean that someone who does not identify with any international organization or certification system cannot be a good coach? Of course he can. But definitely not everyone should call themselves one, and organizations like the ICF offer us very valuable reference points on how to verify this.

Myth #4: A coach irresponsibly promises to improve the well-being of people who need psychiatric and psychotherapeutic care

Fact: Let’s be clear: coaching is not alternative medicine. The goals and objectives of psychotherapy and drug therapy are quite different from those underlying coaching.

Those of you who go to yoga have probably heard more than once that if they feel bad, something hurts, they shouldn’t practice. If they are recovering from an injury, they should not practice. If there are contraindications – DO NOT exercise. The only thing they should do is go to the doctor.

The same is true of coaching. If you are functioning well, your general well-being allows you to perform daily activities, you don’t notice worrying symptoms or behaviors that pose a threat to your health – you can probably confidently begin the coaching process. However, in chronic states of depression, panic attacks, severe anxiety and fears about your health – refer to a psychotherapist. There will still be time for coaching.

Central to the coaching process is the welfare of the client. No coach will drag into the process of change, the process of development of a client who is ill. First, because it is unethical. And secondly – because it completely misses the point. I’ll be here waiting for you and we’ll run together, once your leg is healed and you can confidently stand on it.

5 mitów na temat coachingu Self Compassion Nowe Widoki

Myth No. 5: A coach is a motivational speaker who preaches the same slogans over and over again straight from kitschy graphics on the Internet: mindfulness, 12 ways to be happy…

Let’s break this down into its essentials.
Fact:
A coach is not a speaker. Rather, he is a listener who asks questions, sometimes a little strange ones, by the way.
A coach does not motivate. He invites those who are already motivated to change or develop to work with him.
The rest, on the whole, agrees…

Often you will find in our work cards and other visual aids – in addition to conversation, we also operate with drawing, movement, and in them – analogies, associations… It is worth remembering that the content on which we work is never closed only in the beauty of a photo or image, so that it is probably easier to distinguish us from a profile on Instagram. An image, a slogan – is a trigger, a starting point, or a stop where a thought is anchored, to which we want to return, to recall it in everyday situations.

Mindfulness is a practice really worth recommending. Only there is one important element of it: this and other methods of sensitive, healthy living with oneself cannot be bought in a pretty package. For most of us, implementing mindfulness or self-compassion into habits and daily life is paid for with hard work, and the coach doesn’t hide this from anyone.

The truth about coaching is that it’s a process that requires focus, work and a certain amount of calm and honesty with yourself. And it doesn’t shine, it’s poorly clickable, and it’s hard to add a free shoe voucher to it.

Real coaching, on the other hand, is also about real change and satisfaction. Pass it on – let them know!
You, in turn, are invited to online coaching.

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