Spiritual bypassing is a term for the tendency to use spirituality to avoid difficult emotions and psychological problems. Read more on this topic, learn how to protect yourself from false spirituality?
What is spiritual bypassing?
The term was first used in the 1980s by American psychologist and spiritual teacher John Welwood. Welwood defines spiritual bypassing as :“the use of spiritual ideas and practices to avoid unresolved emotional problems, psychological wounds and unfinished developmental tasks.”
Examples of spiritual bypass
Spiritual bypassing can manifest in many different ways. Here are some examples:
- Using spiritual slogans or affirmations to suppress difficult emotions, such as sadness, anger or fear. For example, someone who is feeling sad might repeat to themselves, “everything is fine,” or “I need to be more positive.”
- Using spirituality as a way to avoid responsibility for one’s life. For example, someone who is having problems at work may say to himself, “it’s just karma” or “it’s all part of the plan.”
- Using spirituality to feel superior to others. For example, someone who practices meditation may think they are more spiritually developed than other people.
Why do people use spiritual bypassing?
There are many reasons why people may resort to spiritual bypassing. Some of the reasons are:
- Fear of painful emotions. Difficult emotions, such as sadness, anger or fear, can be very difficult to experience. Spiritual bypassing can be a way to avoid these emotions and the pain associated with them.
- The desire to feel better. Spirituality, spirituality can offer hope and peace. Spiritual bypassing can be a way to get these benefits without having to work hard to solve your problems.
- A sense of superiority. False spirituality can be a way to feel superior to other people.
- Identity problems. People who don’t know who they are or what they need can find themselves in some form through spirituality and create an image of a deeply reflective person.
False spirituality. Effects of spiritual bypassing
Spiritual bypassing can have negative effects on mental health and personal development. It can lead to:
- Lack of contact with one’s own emotions. Spiritual bypassing does not solve emotional problems, but only masks them. As a result, difficult emotions can build up and lead to mental health problems such as depression, anxiety or personality disorders.
- Loss of contact with reality. Spiritual bypassing can lead to a sense that we are above the problems and challenges of everyday life. As a result, we may lose touch with reality and be unable to deal effectively with daily challenges.
- Loss of self-esteem. People who identify themselves solely through their spirituality may experience states of depression and low self-esteem. Spiritual bypassing can lead to the feeling that we are insufficiently developed spiritually, compared to other people.
Spiritual development and positivity marketing
Marketing strategies often use promises of quick solutions and effortless transformation, perpetuating unrealistic expectations and fostering a culture of spiritual consumerism. Emphasis is often placed on maintaining a facade of constant positivity, regardless of real emotional experiences. This can lead to invalidating one’s own or others’ struggles, creating an environment where authentic expression is suppressed.
Advertisements and programs in the media, e.g. Instagram, often idealize spirituality, presenting it as a panacea for life’s challenges. The media create fascinating narratives of transcendence and enlightenment, telling us that all it takes is one repeated phrase that will change our lives.
How to avoid spiritual bypassing?
Protection requires authenticity, empathy and a healthy approach to personal development. If you suspect that you may be using spiritual bypassing then:
- start recognizing your emotions and try to show your states to people you trust. When you feel a difficult emotion, don’t try to suppress or ignore it. Acknowledge it and allow yourself to experience it,
- seek professional help. If you have difficulty dealing with difficult emotions, don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist – online psychotherapy,
- be realistic in your expectations. Spirituality can be helpful in dealing with difficult emotions, but it is not a miracle cure. Solving emotional problems requires hard work and commitment.
Protection from spiritual bypassing
False spirituality is an experience in which difficult emotions, problems or challenges are avoided or ignored. Excessive focus on spiritual practice or ideology helps avoid confronting reality and one’s own difficulties.
Here are some ways you can help protect yourself from false spirituality.
Awareness. Awareness of one’s own emotions, needs and weaknesses is the foundation in protecting oneself from spirituals bypassing. By regularly reflecting on our own motivations and emotional reactions, we can identify areas where we may be prone to avoiding difficult experiences.
Diversity. Diversity in expanding self-awareness. Pursuing diversity in spiritual practices and self-development avoids a simplistic approach that favors avoiding problems. Instead of relying on a single form of practice, it is worth exploring a variety of techniques, such as meditation, prayer, and psychology, that can support holistic development.
Emotional intelligence. Strengthening the ability to manage one’s own emotions and empathize with others is key to prevention. Practices such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, empathy training, and group support therapy can help develop these skills.
Critical thinking. Maintaining a healthy skepticism about the promises of quick transformations and easy solutions offered by various spiritual practices and products on the market helps avoid the pitfalls of spiritualistic marketing. It is worthwhile to critically evaluate information and promoted values, and to listen to one’s own intuition and experiences.
Social Support. Building relationships based on mutual respect, openness and authenticity is an important factor in preventing false spirituality.
Disagreement with perfectionism. Acceptance of one’s own weaknesses, lack of perfection and experiences, is crucial in preventing false spirituality. Developing self-compassion and practicing self-acceptance allows one to build an authentic relationship with oneself and avoid escaping into illusory spiritual ideals.
Summary
To cultivate true personal growth, it is good to accept your sensitivity, self-reflection and holistic integration of mind, body and spirit. Seek authentic connections, develop relationships based on authenticity and mutual support. Surround yourself with non-judgmental people who offer genuine empathy and understanding.
Recognize that true growth is about facing unresolved traumas, challenging belief systems and accepting the complexity of human existence.