Procrastination, not laziness. Causes, treatment, therapy

Procrastination, not laziness. Causes, treatment, therapy

Table of contents

What is procrastination? Why do so many of us put off certain things for later? How to deal with such an affliction?

What is procrastination?

Each of us has a tendency to put things off. Sometimes, however, this turns into a disturbing habit that causes the realization of the most important issues for us to move further and further away.

Procrastination can occur in many different areas of life: work, home, study, health issues, financial issues, family issues… It can involve social relationships, but also self-development and decision-making. Some of these areas may seem more obvious to us, such as study or work projects, others more subtle and less noticeable such as – medical checkups, dietary changes or sports.

Putting things off – is it laziness?

Answering the question of what is procrastination, it is worth noting that in everyday life it is often understood as laziness, which is a misleading connotation. Laziness has a negative connotation; it is an undesirable character trait that we want to deal with as soon as possible. One of the most frequently asked questions from clients struggling with the problem of putting things off is: How do I stop being lazy?

The truth is that procrastination has nothing to do with laziness. It’s worth remembering that at the root of procrastination activities there are often many difficult, sometimes painful beliefs and emotions that push us into the trap of avoidance. Such actions have the effect of lowering self-esteem and sense of agency.

The process of procrastination itself is a conscious decision that is most often aimed at avoiding unpleasant experiences. Postponing or not completing something we have committed to usually compensates by occupying ourselves with a less important task that can wait – cleaning, increased social activity, distracting attractions or simply making the activity more enjoyable. Over time, this kind of substitution can become an established behavior, or habit.

Side effect: guilt and excuses

Substitute tasks don’t exactly help to deal with our conflicting feelings. On the one hand we feel relieved, on the other we feel uncomfortable. There is a critical voice in our thoughts that repeats: “you should get on with it already”, “you shouldn’t waste your time now”. Such beliefs cause us a lot of unpleasant emotions, triggering feelings of guilt or shame. In order to help ourselves, we often reach for all sorts of excuses to quiet negative emotions.

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

  • “It’s too late to start with this now. I’m tired, I’ll do it tomorrow.”
  • “I don’t feel the urge.”
  • “I don’t have everything I need. I can’t start it now.”
  • “I still have to first…”
  • “I work better under time pressure, I’ll leave it to the last minute.”

What are the causes of procrastination?

Our energy is wasted on finding various excuses related to postponing. Why do we do this? Why do we prefer to run away from what is, after all, important to us?

First of all, each of us adheres to several rules that guide us in life. Among them is a group of beliefs that, unfortunately, can promote procrastination; they usually concern what we consider to be our duty. Such assumptions are usually of little use, as they are sometimes inflexible and do not tolerate exceptions. Perfectionism, high standards, and black-and-white thinking often contribute to procrastination. Here are examples of the most common unhelpful rules:

I have to be responsible

If you want a very strong sense of control in your life, you may feel responsible even for things beyond your control. Such a strong need is fraught with great stress and uncertainty. For example, you may tell yourself that if you are not 100% responsible for what you do, you are weak. You strive for responsibility all the time and only want to make the right decisions. Sooner or later, these kinds of rules will encourage procrastination, because you simply won’t have enough energy resources to meet your own demands.

Seeking pleasure

Do you adhere to the principle that pleasure in life is the most important thing? Are you impulsive, looking for attractions and intolerant of boredom? Among your beliefs may be, for example: “life is too short to do boring or difficult things”, “fun should always come first”. Such principles reflect the need for instant gratification. You can imagine that when faced with an uninteresting task (a work project, an assignment, household chores, meeting the weekly budget) you will feel frustration and boredom. Then you will quickly find a simple way to avoid such activities.

Seeking pleasure

Fear of failure or disapproval

You put a lot of pressure on yourself to perform at a very high level, sometimes even demanding perfection from yourself. If you happen to make a mistake, you interpret it as proof of your own incompetence, or you fear a negative reaction from those around you. You may have assumptions: “I must do things at the highest level”, “I must not let anyone down”, “I must not let others think badly of me”. You can imagine , when faced with a task that will be judged in some way (e.g., an exam, a report, an art piece, a lifestyle change) you may anticipate that you will fail or face disapproval. Perceived anxiety can paralyze your ability to complete a task, and procrastination can be used as a way to avoid the fear precisely of failure or criticism.

Low self-confidence

Some of us doubt our abilities, lack confidence that we are talented and can do things. Thoughts arise: “I won’t be able to do it, because I’m not talented”; “if I try, my imperfections will be revealed”. When faced with a task that requires some confidence in one’s competence (e.g., taking on a new job, starting a new course or hobby, confronting a family member), avoidance and postponement can be a way to avoid showing one’s flaws.

Exhaustion

You may feel that under certain circumstances you are incapable of performing tasks and achieving goals. These circumstances could be being stressed because of conflicting demands in your life, feeling physically or mentally tired, lacking inspiration, not being in the mood to do something important. Assumptions arise in your mind: “I can’t take care of this when I’m so stressed, tired, unmotivated”; “I need to rest, I don’t have the energy for this”. Of course, energy levels are very helpful for action, but if you tend to put things off often due to a worse day, it’s worth considering whether you’re already falling into a negative pattern of postponing important things.

Procrastination – how to fight it? How to beat procrastination

Awareness

To help you assess what aspects of your life you are putting off, carry a piece of paper or notebook with you for the next week. It will help you become aware of your daily activities. Whenever you notice that you have put off something important – a task, an activity, a goal – make a note to yourself of this information. This way you will be able to later analyze in which areas of your life you use procrastination and what you do then and what excuses you use.

Start fighting the excuses

This is not the easiest way, but only then, will you actually stop avoiding tasks that are important to you. One way to change these unfavorable explanations is to challenge them by asking questions, for example:

  • What is the actual reason why it is better to postpone this task?
  • What is the actual evidence that it is better to start this task or goal now?
  • Is it true that it is better for me in the long run to postpone this task?
  • Can I do part of the task now, even if conditions are not ideal?
  • If I start on a task right now – what might happen? How might I feel about it?
  • If I don’t start with it now – what can happen? How can I feel about it?

Priorities

In overcoming procrastination , it is very important to be clear about the steps to be taken. If the goal is unclear, it will be very difficult for us to move forward.

First, write a list of tasks and goals you want to work on. This can be a list for the day, week or month, depending on what makes the most sense for your situation. You can have more than one list, for example, a longer list for a month and a shorter list for each day. Look at it soberly and evaluate how realistic it is to achieve these things in the allotted time. If it is not realistic, check which tasks or goals you can postpone and return to them at a later date. Important: don’t impose unachievable deadlines on yourself!

Another option is to start doing a task that you enjoy and that gives you energy, and then quickly move on to the task you’ve been putting off. The idea is to tap into your motivation and energy. For example, if you like to read, you can start by reading an enjoyable, interesting read and then quickly move on to an activity that gives you less satisfaction, such as wading through paperwork for a job.

The ability to estimate time

We often underestimate or overestimate the time it takes to complete our priority tasks. We don’t manage enough time, and as a result we are late in completing them, or we devote too much time and attention to one task, which makes our work very long and slow. Start paying attention to how much time it actually takes you to perform certain activities. The ability to determine time is very useful in the fight against procrastination.

The ability to estimate time

Just five minutes

Even five minutes of your work on a task that you often put off can already be a very good start. This is such a small amount of time that you will successfully manage to endure this slight discomfort. At the end of the five minutes, see if you can spend another five minutes on it – and so on. Or you can decide right away to spend a slightly larger amount of time, depending on what the task is and how strong your discomfort level is.

Visualize

Another way to approach tasks or goals is to visualize them in advance. Remind yourself of a very vivid and real image of the tasks performed and goals achieved. Try to use all your senses in this exercise to make the image as real as possible. Then focus on the good feeling you have after completing the task. Take advantage of this energy.

Share your goals

Another tip is to tell someone you trust that you are pursuing certain tasks or goals. When you share important information with those around you, it means an increase in commitment to the cause because you feel accountable to someone other than yourself. In addition, if you are struggling with procrastinating on things, this person can show you support at times when you find it most difficult.

Assertiveness

Another thing worth considering is whether a lack of assertiveness is the reason for your procrastination on important issues. For example, you may have difficulty saying “no.” This could mean that you are taking on a great deal of work, which reduces the time you have available for your priority goals. You may also have difficulty reporting to other people that you need a little more time to work on something important. Assertiveness involves recognizing that you have the right to say no and make reasonable demands. If you feel that it is difficult for you to learn assertiveness yourself, cognitive-behavioral therapy can help. Meet with a specialist and talk about the opportunities and barriers to developing this skill.

Take care of yourself

Implementing any of the strategies described has a chance of success only if you apply them with the intention of taking care of yourself. Procrastination and its various manifestations take away more than they give. Overcoming procrastination makes us feel more fulfilled, because what is important and valuable is closer to us.

Having difficulties with procrastination? Make an appointment with a specialist – online psychotherapy.

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I am a certified psychotherapist and CBT supervisor. I use the latest methods of cognitive-behavioral therapy and schema therapy. My specialty? Turning complex theories into practical advice and solutions! As an expert in the field, I not only run a clinical practice, but also train and supervise other psychotherapists. I invite you to read my articles and contact me if you need professional support.

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