Feelings of emptiness affect each of us at various points in our lives. Have you ever wondered why you suddenly feel as if everything has lost its meaning and your inner world has become overwhelmingly empty?
In fact, inner emptiness is not simply a lack of emotion. It is a complex psychological condition that can signal deeper problems or be a natural reaction to life changes. Whatever the cause, recognizing and understanding this feeling is the first step to regaining emotional balance. In this article, we’ll take a closer look at what’s behind the feeling of emptiness, its sources and, most importantly, how to deal with it effectively.
What is the feeling of emptiness?
The feeling of emptiness is one of the most difficult emotional states to describe. Although commonly experienced, it remains mysterious and difficult to grasp even for specialists. What exactly is this enigmatic state, which some call “inner vacuum” or “emotional silence”?
How do people describe emotional emptiness
People who experience emptiness describe it in many different ways. For some, it is a physical sensation in the body – often as a tightness in the chest or a strange feeling of lightness in the stomach. Others speak of “falling into the abyss” or living from day to day with no clear direction.
“It’s as if everything has lost its colors” – this is how patients often describe it. People also report a lack of interest, feelings of isolation and even alienation from their own lives. They feel lonely, even when surrounded by other people. Paradoxically, emptiness is sometimes felt as a burden, even though it concerns something absent.
There are also often difficulties in clearly defining one’s own life path and goals. These people cease to see meaning in the realization of plans and dreams, and do not feel motivated to continue their activities. Interestingly, they can function completely normally on a day-to-day basis – maintaining contacts, fulfilling obligations – while feeling deep pain inside about the lack of a sense of meaning.
Is the emptiness a lack of emotion, or something more?
Contrary to appearances, emotional emptiness does not mean a complete absence of feelings. Rather, it is the loss of contact with them or their suppression. It’s not so much “I don’t feel anything” as “I can’t get to what I feel.” People in this state describe difficulties in recognizing emotions and expressing them, leading to a sense of inner emptiness.
From a psychological perspective, emptiness is a subjective feeling of lack of meaning or significance. It can be a symptom of various psychological disorders, such as depression or personality disorders, but also the result of experienced trauma and chronic stress. In borderline personality disorder, chronic inner emptiness affects most patients and can be associated with self-harm and suicidal tendencies.
When emptiness becomes a problem
The occasional experience of emptiness is part of human existence. However, the condition becomes a problem when it persists for an extended period of time – more than two months – and significantly affects daily functioning.
A prolonged state of emptiness and lack of purpose can affect various areas of life. It gradually takes control of emotions, behavior and relationships, leading to a worsening mental crisis. If thoughts of a lack of meaning in life persist for weeks or months, they can develop into full-blown depression.
A serious warning sign is when emptiness is accompanied by distinct symptoms, such as:
- Constant stress and guilt.
- Difficulty establishing and maintaining relationships.
- Problems with concentration and decision-making.
- A tendency to compulsive behavior (shopping, stimulants).
Emptiness becomes particularly dangerous when it leads to a significant reduction in quality of life, affecting one’s ability to work, interpersonal relationships and general social functioning. It is then worth seeking professional help, as early intervention is crucial in preventing the development of more serious disorders.
The most common causes of feelings of emptiness
The causes of feelings of emptiness are as complex as the experience itself. Understanding the sources of this condition is the first step to restoring emotional balance and finding meaning. Let’s take a look at the most common factors that can lead to inner emptiness.
Stress and life changes
Prolonged stress is one of the main factors causing feelings of emptiness. The body uses huge amounts of energy to survive in a state of constant tension, which over time leads to emotional exhaustion. In addition, sudden and significant changes in life can deeply disrupt our sense of stability and meaning.
They can be particularly difficult:
- Loss of a loved one and bereavement
- Moving or changing jobs.
- The breakup of a relationship.
- Unexpected financial changes.
Chronic life stress, whether related to work, family conflicts or financial problems, can perpetuate symptoms of emptiness, even despite treatment. In fact, long-term functioning “on autopilot” leads to a gradual loss of contact with one’s own emotions.
Lack of purpose and burnout
The feeling that life has no meaning is often associated with a lack of clearly defined goals and values. Many times overworked people or those experiencing burnout, who have been operating “on automatic” for years, suddenly lose the sense of daily responsibilities. Crossing life milestones, such as retirement, prompts reflection on achievements and the future.
Burnout, the result of prolonged stress, can manifest itself as a constant feeling of emptiness, lack of motivation to act, and difficulty in enjoying life. According to psychologists, an existential crisis results precisely from the loss of purpose or values that give our lives meaning.
Problems in relationships
Loneliness is one of the most difficult experiences accompanying feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness. Paradoxically, it can be felt even when being among close people. The lack of satisfying interpersonal relationships is a significant risk factor.
Particularly acute is the feeling of loneliness in a relationship, when partners live together, but the emotional closeness between them has disappeared. It is worth remembering that the reasons for this condition are not always obvious – sometimes they are due to deeply rooted beliefs about love, lack of communication skills or inability to ask for support.
Mental and emotional disorders
Feelings of emptiness often accompany various mental disorders. The most commonly mentioned are:
- Depression, where emptiness and apathy are sometimes more dominant than sadness.
- Personality disorders, especially borderline type, where chronic feelings of emptiness are one of the diagnostic criteria.
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), leading to emotional numbness.
The issue of trauma is particularly relevant. In psychology, a distinction is made between so-called bond trauma or developmental trauma – situations in which the psyche was emotionally overloaded and did not have the resources to bear it. The defense mechanism then becomes a “freezing of emotions,” which initially protects, but over time leads to a feeling of inner emptiness.
Health causes and medications
Surprisingly, feelings of emptiness can also have physical causes. Some somatic diseases affect patients’ moods and self-esteem, intensifying negative thinking about themselves and their own lives.
It is worth noting the effect of antidepressants, especially those in the SSRI group. Studies have shown that in one in two patients they can cause emotional dementia. This condition involves a reduction in the intensity of feeling emotions – both positive (joy, love, passion) and negative. It is estimated to be experienced by 40 to 60 percent of users of these drugs.
Emptiness vs. emotional trauma
In a psychological context, inner emptiness often has deeper roots than it might appear at first glance. One of the key, and often unrecognized, factors causing chronic feelings of emptiness is the experience of emotional trauma, which changes the way our psyche and nervous system function.
What is bond trauma and developmental
Trauma does not always mean dramatic events like an accident or physical violence. Modern psychology distinguishes between so-called bond trauma and developmental trauma. These are situations in which the psyche of a child or adult was emotionally overloaded and did not have enough resources to cope with the burden.
In contrast to the classical understanding of trauma, developmental trauma often arises from repeated, seemingly minor situations. These can be experiences such as emotional neglect, lack of support during difficult times, inability to express one’s own feelings, or systematic rejection of a child’s emotional needs. When such experiences become a daily occurrence, they shape the way our brains process emotions.
Emptiness occurs when there is no sufficiently available, emotionally responsive person to help the child regulate affects and build a coherent sense of self. Of particular relevance to this view is the concept of the “dead mother,” describing a situation in which a caregiver is physically present but emotionally absent. Such a relationship leads to the internalization of the experience of absence, deadness and loss of meaning, which in later life can manifest as a chronic sense of emptiness, difficulties in relationships and a limited ability to experience and symbolize emotions.
Surprisingly, many adults do not connect their inner emptiness with their childhood experiences. Some of them do not remember specific difficult moments, others remember only fragments – rejection, abandonment, shame. However, both groups share a similar mechanism: freezing emotions as a form of survival.
Freezing emotions as a defense mechanism
In a threatening situation, our body activates survival systems. The amygdala body sends the signal “attention, danger,” and the whole body goes into mode: fight, flight or freeze. In the case of childhood trauma or repeated emotional overload, especially when there was no one to notice, name and accommodate these emotions, the psyche often chooses the third option – freeze.
The freeze response is a complex defense mechanism that once allowed people to survive situations that threatened their mental or physical safety. It is one of the three primary responses to stress, along with fight and flight. In the frozen state, there is a disconnection from feelings, from the body, from sensitivity. However, it is worth emphasizing: “It’s not that you don’t have emotions. It’s that the emotions are there, but you don’t have access to them.”
People in a state of functional freezing often outwardly appear calm and well-organized, but internally they feel emptiness and difficulty in acting. Over time, what was supposed to be a temporary survival strategy becomes a permanent pattern of functioning.
How trauma affects the ability to feel
Trauma leaves a permanent mark on both the body and the mind. On a neurobiological level, it leads to the deactivation of reward systems and the overreactivity of the amygdala, the part of the limbic system responsible for fear and anxiety. As a result, a person finds it harder to activate rational thinking and easier to enter survival mode.
Long-term emotional freezing leads to a peculiar state in which a person loses touch with his or her true feelings. Instead, there is an inexpressible, fuzzy indifference and difficulty experiencing anything. People with inner emptiness often suspect depression in themselves, but do not experience its classic symptoms – they do not have a pronounced drop in mood or obsessive thoughts.
Many people after relational and developmental traumas function with the belief: “I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I want. I don’t feel anything, so I don’t choose anything.” This condition is related to a lack of access to one’s own “I” rather than to internal conflicts. Understanding the connection between past trauma and current feelings of emptiness is the first step in the process of regaining contact with one’s own emotions.
How to deal with feelings of emptiness?
Dealing with inner emptiness requires an approach that goes beyond simple advice like “find an activity” or “go out among people.” The feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness is a difficult experience for many people that needs deeper attention. Above all, it is worth remembering that effective strategies combine working with the body, mind and relationships.
Keep a journal of emotions
Writing down your thoughts and feelings is one of the most effective methods of dealing with feelings of emptiness. Putting your thoughts on paper allows you to better know and understand your own emotional state, plus it allows you to calmly work through difficult situations. Keeping a diary systematically helps you identify exactly what triggers your feelings of emptiness and track any changes in your mood. In practice, an emotion diary becomes a tool for “catching” our own feelings, which we may not even be aware of.
Setting realistic goals
An important part of rebooting motivation for life is setting goals. Without a plan, it’s easy to get lost and, over time, feel dissatisfied with our own accomplishments. It’s a good idea to make a list of short- and long-term goals that you can refer back to in moments of doubt. However, remember not to set excessive and general expectations – specific and achievable tasks will be better. Achieving even small, satisfying goals can significantly increase your sense of empowerment and fill a previous void.
Return to old passions or hobbies
In the moment of feeling emptiness, you may not feel like doing your hobbies, but it is worth persevering and returning to them. This is part of taking care of yourself – just as we eat and sleep to take care of our bodies, entertainment is fundamental to taking care of our mental health. Pay attention to how you feel when you make time for your own interests. You may be able to awaken the joy or peace you once felt. On the other hand, you may also find that it’s time to look for a new hobby.
Building relationships and connecting with people
Isolation can significantly increase feelings of emptiness. While you may not be ready to actively schedule time with friends or family, you shouldn’t avoid these gatherings. Look to your loved ones as a support system – try to trust them and talk about your feelings. Just being listened to and supported can be crucial in improving your well-being. It’s worth remembering that the ability to talk to another person is an essential yet often neglected competence.
Support from a psychologist or therapist
If the feeling of emptiness accompanies you for a long time and reflects on the quality of your life, you should not hesitate to seek the help of a specialist – online psychotherapy. Such a condition can be a symptom of existing or developing disorders. Psychotherapy allows you to identify the sources of the problem and develop effective coping strategies. Instead of trying to cope on your own, you should give yourself permission to seek professional help.
The therapeutic work here is not about quickly “filling” the void, but about gradually recognizing it, naming it and containing it in a safe relationship. In this way, it becomes possible to give it meaning and create the conditions for the emergence of a sense of vitality, meaning and a more stable experience of self and others.
Can emptiness have positive meaning?
Paradoxically, the state of emptiness, although difficult to bear, can be the beginning of important inner transformations. Although most of us see this feeling only as a problem, it is also worth looking at it from another perspective.
Emptiness as a signal for change
Every void is a space that can be filled. If we feel a void, it is a signal that something needs to change in our lives. Perhaps we lack purpose, support, or simply time for ourselves. Emptiness is associated with lack, with the end of something, but at the same time with the beginning of something new. It is what forces us to look within ourselves.
Internal emptiness acts like “emotional indigestion” – it won’t kill us, but it’s impossible to ignore it indefinitely. It begins to seduce, and then we can either give up, run away, or stand up to fight. To overcome emptiness, or “lack,” there is only one way: to understand what we really lack. The first step to overcoming this condition is to give ourselves time to reflect more deeply.
Inner silence as a space for new
Inner silence, which we often mistake for emptiness, can be a valuable resource. It is a time when our mind is no longer filled with a thousand thoughts and worries. In such a space, we can immerse ourselves in the present and give our minds a well-deserved rest.
Emotional emptiness is also sometimes a transitional space, inviting us to reflect on life. It often precedes moments of transformation – before we discover a new direction, we need to experience a void showing that our previous ways no longer fulfill us. Thus, it is a kind of “clean sheet” on which something new can be born.
How to accept and understand this state
Understanding emptiness requires courage to face what we lack, but also patience to discover what will fill our inner space. Existential psychology (Irvin D. Yalom) says that freedom is not only autonomy, but also acceptance of loss, transience and change.
It is worth asking ourselves the questions: “Do I have consent to loss?”, “How do I deal with passing?”, “Do I accept change in my life?”. Instead of desperately running away from the emptiness, one can learn to dwell in it and observe what appears in it.
Paradoxically, by avoiding pain, we also avoid beauty. Every experience, even a painful one, expands our field of consciousness and creates space for new possibilities. Emptiness can become the beginning of change, if only we learn to look at it as a transitional and even necessary stage of our development.
Summary
The feeling of emptiness is an extremely complex emotional state that affects many of us at different stages of life. As we have seen, inner emptiness rarely means a complete absence of emotion – more often it is a loss of contact with one’s own emotional world. Our brain and body respond to overload, trauma or chronic stress with a freezing mechanism that initially protects, but over time becomes a source of suffering.
It is worth remembering that a prolonged sense of emptiness can signal deeper psychological problems. However, not every experience of emptiness has to be pathological. Sometimes emptiness appears as a natural reaction to the end of a certain stage of life or as a space for new experiences. Although difficult to bear, it can become the beginning of a profound transformation. Instead of running away from this unpleasant state, one can learn to dwell in it and ask oneself questions: “What do I really need?”, “What have I lost?”, “What do I want to build anew?”. Accepting emptiness as a transitional stage opens the door to finding new meaning and significance.
The path from emptiness to wholeness requires patience and courage. However, if the feeling of emptiness persists for too long or significantly reduces the quality of life, it is definitely worth considering the help of a psychologist or psychotherapist. A specialist will help you understand the individual sources of this condition and work with you to develop strategies for returning to emotional wholeness.
Bibliography:
Heller, L., & LaPierre, A. (2012). Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship. North Atlantic Books.
Fisher, J. (2017). Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation. Routledge.
https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2025.1545852/full