Aaron Beck (1967) introduced the idea of schemas into cognitive therapy. Cognitive schemas are understood as persistent negative or positive beliefs, concerning one’s self, other people and the surrounding world. Good schemas have an adaptive function, negative ones have a destructive effect on us and our relationships. Jeffrey Young the creator of schema therapy added to the understanding of schemas the aspect of their formation. We recognize schema development as the result of toxic experiences from childhood and adolescence. Difficult, negative experiences, result in the failure to sufficiently fulfill our basic emotional needs. Young distinguished 18 negative schemas brought on by childhood experiences. The patterns created can seep in and distort our experience of present moments and events.
What is schema therapy ?
Schema therapy focuses on finding unmet emotional needs and helps you to start fulfilling them in an adequate and healthy way. Healing the schema is the most important goal of therapy, and often schema modes are also an important part of the work. The therapeutic process in schema therapy is sometimes longer than in cognitive-behavioral therapy, because maladaptive schemas are persistent patterns that are present in our lives for many years (that is, they are early maladaptive schemas). Treatment involves a comprehensive approach; therapeutic interventions address the cognitive, behavioral and affective spheres.
How do schemas work ?
Young’s schema theory states that our schemas, may be hidden most of the time. The schema only reveals itself at times that are similar on some level to our childhood experiences. If the schema is triggered, the past enters the present moment.
For example, if you have a pattern of abandonment and have experienced the loss of important people in your life (your parent left or worked a lot) you may experience the pattern in many ways in adulthood, such as when you have an argument with your partner or when he or she goes on a business trip.
Young’s schemas – Example of a schema
To give you an even closer look at how the scheme works, read the following example.
Imagine a woman who struggles with constant concerns about her figure and appearance in her adult life. When she was young, her parents were very controlling of her diet, no fast food or sweets were allowed. Her parents were very concerned about maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and image and social judgment were important to them. They often took her on bicycle trips, which she didn’t really want to participate in, but she agreed because she didn’t want to disappoint them. As a young girl, she became increasingly focused on her appearance. Throughout high school, she often compared herself with other classmates, thinking she was fatter and less attractive than them. In moments of weakness, she would reach for high-calorie products, having remorse afterward and feeling bad about herself.
Recently, already an adult, she went to a fashion show with a friend, reacting very strongly to the sight of slim models. She told her friend that in front of them she felt that she was just fat. Faced with this incident, she decided that she needed to go on another diet and resume exercising.
In this example, the event (going to a fashion show) triggered a familiar emotional reaction by her, strong emotions were activated in her, associated with a sense of incompleteness, inferiority(Defectiveness Schema). This case is an example of the activation of an “old pattern” and a coping strategy that perpetuates the problem (another diet, exercise).
Encouraging reflection:
Remember that each of us can have our patterns – it’s a natural part of the human experience. It’s important to look at yourself and your reactions with gentleness and curiosity. If you want, you can keep a journal in which you record situations that trigger strong emotions and your thoughts about them. This will help you over time to better understand your own patterns and consciously work on them.
How to recognize an early maladaptive emotional pattern?
Early maladaptive emotional patterns are not just single thoughts or beliefs. They are persistent, repetitive patterns that involve your memories, emotions, body reactions and the way you view yourself and your relationships with others. Schemas are most often formed in childhood or adolescence and can unconsciously affect your daily decisions, relationships and well-being throughout your life.
Features by which you can recognize a schema
- Schemas are activated by situations that remind you of difficult past experiences.
- When they are triggered, strong emotions such as sadness, anger, fear or guilt often arise.
- You may notice recurring thoughts like “Here we go again,” “It’s definitely my fault,” “I’ll never succeed.”
- The body also reacts – you may feel tension, accelerated heartbeat, fatigue.
- In these moments, you feel as if the past “enters” the present, and you react more intensely than the situation demands.
Typical signals that the pattern has been set in motion:
- You have difficulty looking at the situation rationally.
- You feel “flooded” with emotions, as if you are once again the little girl who has not received support or acceptance.
- Your reactions seem inadequate – you may become withdrawn, angry or overly concerned with the opinion of others.
- Afterwards, you often feel guilty, ashamed or disappointed in yourself.
Why is it important to recognize patterns?
Understanding when and how your patterns are triggered is an important step toward change. It allows you to start consciously choosing how you want to react – instead of following the beaten, often painful path. This is the first step to taking care of your needs in a healthy, supportive way.
Schema therapy exercise – pattern capture
In working on changing schemas, the moment of capturing the activation of the schema is very important. Once we are under the influence of the schema’s activation it is much more difficult to change the course of events. An active schema triggers a lot of old, familiar emotions in us, we feel a bit like small children who are flooded by a wave of negative memories and emotions.
Observe yourself and try to answer the questions:
- What causes you to overreact to certain situations?
- Can you identify the trigger (e.g., situation, event) that triggers your pattern?
- What emotions arise at that time?
- What do you think at the time?
- What do you think your schema triggered in those situations?
A list of 18 schemas brought from childhood
Young’s schema theory presents 18 schemas, see if you identify with some of the schemas.
First area: disconnection and rejection
A person in this area shows attachment problems. What was lacking in past experiences was dependability, support, empathy and respect from caregivers. In childhood, the person may have been treated in a cold, often rejecting way. There was a lack of emotional support and sometimes even basic care. Caregivers were unpredictable, absent, uninterested or aggressive.
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Pattern of Abandonment and Relationship Instability
A person expects to lose those with whom he or she is emotionally connected. Expects to be abandoned by all important people; sooner or later. Has the belief that all intimate relationships will eventually end. Those experiencing a pattern of abandonment alternately experience fear, sadness and anger.
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The pattern of distrust and abuse
A person is convinced that other people will take advantage of her. She expects to be hurt, deceived, or manipulated. As a natural reaction, it becomes overly vigilant and suspicious in relationships. In this way, past experiences of abuse are managed by distrust, which makes it difficult to enter into satisfying relationships.
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Emotional deprivation pattern
A person believes that his or her basic emotional needs (care, need for empathy and protection) will not be met or will be inadequately met by others. Emotional deprivation increases feelings of isolation and loneliness, even when the person is among people, in collegial relationships or even in a relationship.
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The pattern of defectiveness and shame
A person feels incomplete, worthless, inferior. Feelings of inferiority give rise to feelings of shame. She believes that when other people get to know her better, discover her flaws, they will want nothing to do with her. The flaws can be external, e.g. a physical trait, or internal, e.g. a character trait, a family secret.
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Pattern of social isolation and alienation
A person has a sense of being isolated from the rest of the world and people. He feels that he is somehow different from everyone else, that he doesn’t fit in anywhere. The sense of isolation makes the person feel that he or she does not belong anywhere.
Second area: weakened autonomy and lack of achievement
Weakened belief in the ability to be independent, to cope with life’s demands, difficulty in taking effective action. The family of origin becomes emotionally enmeshed, undermines the child’s confidence in his competence, is sometimes overprotective or does not support the child to act independently.
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The pattern of dependence and incompetence
The person feels completely helpless, feeling that he or she cannot function without the help of others. Dependence in relationships manifests itself in difficulties in making decisions and functioning independently. The family of origin may be over-protective and unsupportive of autonomy in the child.
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Pattern of vulnerability to injury and illness
A person is convinced that something catastrophic (e.g., illness, danger) could happen to him or his loved ones at any time. Often feeling helpless, she believes there is nothing she can do to prevent unpredictable events. She is most often preoccupied with controlling her surroundings and taking extraordinary precautions.
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Emotional entanglement pattern
A person is overly involved with one or more caregivers. Because of this, I show difficulty in developing my own identity and sense of self (not fully developed). He or she often has the belief that at least one of the entangled people cannot survive without the support of the other. Entanglement is often experienced as a sense of emptiness and loss.
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Failure pattern (achievement sphere)
A person feels that he lacks intelligence and talent. He interprets his achievements in terms of luck. A person struggling with this pattern often does not even try to succeed, because he is convinced that all attempts will fail. The person often compares himself to those around him and believes that he is not capable of reaching the same level in terms of career, education and achievements. Frequent comparisons affect self-esteem.
Third area: damaged boundaries
This person may have inadequately shifted boundaries, a lack of a sense of responsibility and a low tolerance for frustration. He or she has difficulty setting realistic, long-term goals. He may manifest problems in cooperating with others. The family of origin may have offered little in the way of rules, guidance or direction, or modeled behaviors associated with a sense of superiority over others.
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A pattern of entitlement and special powers
This person believes that he is better than others and is specially privileged. He rarely shows empathy and thinks he can do whatever he wants, regardless of the rules in place. The main goal is power and gaining control over situations and people.
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A pattern of insufficient self-control or self-discipline
The person does not tolerate any frustration in achieving his goals. He has little ability to suppress feelings or impulses. He tries to avoid any discomfort, has difficulty making an effort and thus achieving his own goals.
Fourth area: targeting others
This person has an inordinate sense of responsibility, always having to consider the needs of others at the expense of satisfying his own needs. The targeting of others is to help gain love and approval. In the family of origin, there may have been conditional love, the needs of the parents took precedence over what was important and necessary for the child.
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The pattern of subordination
A person submits to the will of others to avoid negative consequences (e.g. punishment, conflict, rejection). Sacrificing one’s own needs can lead to cumulative anger, which is often expressed in passive-aggressive ways or through the onset of psychosomatic symptoms.
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Self-sacrifice pattern
A person voluntarily sacrifices his own needs for the benefit of others, whom he often perceives as weaker than himself. If she takes action to satisfy her own needs, she often feels guilty. In the long run, she may feel resentment, anger toward those for whom she sacrificed.
14 .Schema seeking approval and recognition
The person is overly focused on the opinions and attention of others. She often tries to fit in with those around her, at the expense of building her own self. The person’s sense of self-worth is dependent on the reactions and judgment of others. Individuals often feel inauthentic in their lives and exhibit a strong fear of negative reactions.
Area: excessive vigilance and inhibition
A person overly suppresses his own emotions, impulses or choices. He focuses on adhering to rigid rules and norms, at the expense of happiness, freedom of self-expression. The typical family of origin is bitter, demanding, punitive. More important than pleasure and relaxation are responsibilities and adherence to rules.
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Negativism pattern
This person always sees the negative side of events in his life, minimizing the positive. He adopts the principle that everything will eventually go wrong anyway, even if things are good. He constantly worries, often complains and does not have the courage to make decisions.
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Emotional inhibition pattern
Emotional inhibition manifests itself in the fact that a person keeps tight control over his emotions and impulses because he believes that expressing spontaneous emotions will contribute to ridicule, shame, abandonment by others. She is never spontaneous and focuses on facts. She does not engage in conflicts and seems to be overly rational. Lack of spontaneous expression of emotions and suppression of emotions contribute to difficulties in the realm of relationships, especially in the early stages of cognition.
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The pattern of inflated standards (hypercriticism)
This person believes that he or she will never be good enough and must try harder to avoid criticism. This results in perfectionism, rigid rules, focus on time and performance. These activities are undertaken at the expense of pleasure, relaxation and maintaining social contacts. This pattern can be directed at oneself or at others.
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The pattern of ruthless strictness
The person feels that people must be severely punished for their mistakes. The person is often aggressive, intolerant and impatient. Absolute severity manifests itself in the fact that there is no forgiveness for mistakes, individual circumstances and feelings are not taken into account. The pattern can be directed at oneself or at others.
Introduction to Young’s schema areas – why is the division into areas important?
Each schema area is associated with a specific emotional need that may not have been met in childhood. This makes it easier to understand where your difficulties come from and how you can work on them. Here are the main needs that correspond to each area:
- Security and attachment – feeling that you can count on others, be yourself and feel accepted.
- Autonomy and competence – self-confidence, independence, ability to make decisions.
- Boundaries and self-control – the ability to set your own boundaries, to take care of yourself and others.
- Self-expression and authenticity – the right to express one’s own needs, feelings and opinions.
- Spontaneity and joy – allowing oneself to have fun, relax, be here and now.
Below you will find a brief description of each area:
1. Disconnection and rejection
This area deals with the need for unconditional acceptance, security and attachment. The patterns in this group occur when you lacked support, affection or a sense of importance as a child. You may feel that others will abandon you, cannot be trusted, or you are not good enough to deserve love.
A real-life example: If you often fear that loved ones will leave or not be there for you, even when there is no apparent reason to do so, you may be experiencing a pattern of abandonment.
2. Weakened autonomy and lack of achievement
This area is related to your need for autonomy, self-esteem and agency. If your autonomy was restricted or your self-reliance was not encouraged as a child, you may feel incompetent, dependent on others or fear failure.
A real-life example: if you avoid making decisions without the support of others or often feel helpless in new situations, perhaps a dependency pattern is at work in you.
3. Damaged boundaries
Here, the need to set one’s own boundaries and take care of the balance between oneself and the environment is crucial. The patterns in this group occur when you were not taught to set boundaries in childhood or, on the contrary, were given too much freedom without responsibility.
An example from life: If you find it difficult to deny yourself pleasure, often postpone responsibilities or have difficulty maintaining a routine, you may recognize a pattern of insufficient self-control in yourself.
4. Targeting others
This area refers to the need to balance taking care of yourself with caring for others. The patterns emerge when you were taught as a child that the needs of others are more important than your own. You may have difficulty being assertive and expressing your opinion.
A real-life example: If you often give up your own plans to please others, or feel guilty when you take care of yourself, you may be experiencing a pattern of self-sacrifice.
5. Excessive vigilance and inhibition
Here the need for spontaneity, joy and acceptance of one’s own emotions is paramount. The schemas in this group develop when perfectionism, control or suppression of feelings were emphasized in childhood.
A real-life example: if you often feel you have to be “perfect” and don’t allow yourself to relax or be spontaneous, you may have an active pattern of inflated standards.
Styles for dealing with patterns
Each of us, when we experience difficult emotions triggered by schema activation, reacts in certain ways. These ways are called coping styles. They can help you survive in childhood, but in adulthood they often make it difficult to build satisfying relationships and realize your own needs.
In schema therapy, there are three main coping styles:
1. Schema submission
This is a style in which you fully “buy into” the schema and behave as if its message were true. For example, you may believe that you don’t deserve love and therefore avoid intimacy or agree to things that aren’t good for you, just to avoid being rejected.
Example from life:
If you have a pattern of defectiveness, you may constantly apologize for your imperfections, even when you have done nothing wrong.
2. Avoiding the pattern
In this style, you try to “escape” from difficult feelings and situations that can activate the schema. This can mean avoiding close relationships, suppressing emotions, and sometimes reaching for various “distractions” (e.g., excessive work, TV series, food).
Example from life:
If you have a pattern of abandonment, you may not get involved in relationships, or you may quickly withdraw from relationships before the risk of getting hurt arises.
3. Overcompensation (opposing the pattern)
This is a style in which you behave completely opposite to what the schema suggests – often very intensely, as if you want to prove to yourself and others that the schema is wrong. From the outside, you may appear confident, but underneath you still have anxiety or a sense of inadequacy at work.
Example from life:
With a pattern of subordination, you may react with excessive control, domination or criticism of others to avoid feeling weak or dependent.
How do you recognize your coping style?
Stop for a moment and think about how you most often react when you feel overwhelmed by emotions or feel like you are “falling back into old patterns again.”
- Do you tend to withdraw or avoid difficult situations?
- Do you tend to conform to the expectations of others, even if it’s difficult for you?
- Or do you try to “outdo” your weaknesses by acting very assertive or even domineering?
You can also try to write down on a piece of paper recent situations in which strong emotions arose. How did you react then? Do you see a recurring pattern?
Why is it important to know your coping style?
Awareness of your own style is the first step to change. It allows you to start looking at yourself more gently, understand where your reactions come from, and gradually learn new, more supportive ways of coping. Remember that every style once had a function – but today you can choose differently, in harmony with yourself and your needs.
Summary
Consider which of the described areas and patterns are closest to you. Naming and understanding your own patterns is the first step to change. Remember that you are not alone with this – each of us has the right to work on our patterns and build a life in harmony with ourselves. If you feel you need support, you can schedule a consultation – together we will find a path to greater understanding and balance.
Remember, you can gradually heal your patterns. If you notice patterns occurring in yourself, make an initial appointment – schema therapy.
Literature:
Creative Methods in Schema Therapy – Gillian Heath and Helen Startup
The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Schema Therapy: Theory, Research, and Practice – Michiel van Vreeswijk, Jenny Broersen, and Marjon Nadort