What is anger and how to express it?
In the course of their lives, people feel many emotions – joy, sadness, shame, fear or disgust. Some of them are associated positively, while others are perceived decidedly negatively. Among the latter can be placed anger. It is associated with destruction, with conflict and aggression. However, experiencing anger is natural to humans and we should not suppress it or pretend that it does not affect us. In fact, there are ways to experience justified anger in a healthy way. So what exactly is it, this emotion, how to release anger and what do people need it for?
What is anger?
Anger is one of the basic emotional reactions accompanying humans. Often its source is fear or great agitation. It can be a response to crossing someone’s personal boundaries or violating another person’s property. When we feel this emotion, the whole body reacts. It begins to act more intensely, the blood circulates faster, stimulating the person to confront the source of the agitation. There is also an increase in the level of hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. All of this is a natural reaction for humans. Anger informs us that something unfavorable is happening and we should react. For this reason, it is sometimes worth considering what situations trigger anger in you? Why does this behavior cause such a reaction? This will allow us to get an idea of what causes anger and what it is for us.
Why do we need anger?
It is important to be aware that anger communicates something to us, it is needed and we should not hold back experiencing it. Of course, this should be done in a constructive way. Anger is usually a message from our subconscious that some need has not been met or boundaries have been violated. Often, we may not even be aware of their existence, but anger lets us know about them. It is, therefore, a warning from the consciousness that something is wrong. It also prepares the body to defend itself by arousing it. We are under the influence of anger ready to attack or flee. Anger thus allows us to take action. Its appearance makes a person able to react in a situation that threatens him in some way. So we can say that anger motivates us to act. Thus, we need it because it is a warning and defense system for the body.
How to discharge anger ?
We already know that anger is necessary. How, however, to deal with it? Everyone should know how to express anger and why, we also need it. Unfortunately, this is not common knowledge. Instead, one often encounters the opinion that expressing anger and rage is bad. Children in particular hear this. When they are angry, parents admonish them to start behaving politely. One can even encounter such sayings as “anger harms beauty.” All this suggests that anger is something inappropriate that should be avoided. It can result in the fact that suppressed emotions will negatively affect a person’s well-being. Therefore, one should express anger when one feels it. It is important to remember that unexpressed anger can backfire on us one day. So it is worth learning to express anger in an assertive and constructive way. This will avoid mounting tension and the buildup of unresolved problems. Unfortunately, unexpressed anger can lead to disorders and dysfunctions that reflect on the quality of life. The second issue, on the other hand, is the disproportionate expression of anger to the threat. At such moments it takes control of a person’s behavior. Something like this should not happen either. One can then hurt oneself and one’s surroundings.
So the most important question is – how to discharge anger, in a way that will not hurt the expresser and the addressees of the emotion? First of all, it is worth knowing that anger is most often expressed in three ways: aggressively, passively and assertively. The first means a reaction involving, for example, a physical or verbal attack. The passive approach manifests itself as suppression of anger within oneself. In the assertive way, a person focuses to change the emotion-inducing situation, but does so in a way that does not hurt others. Once you know how you should react, you can think about methods that will help you do so.
The most important thing is to recognize anger and find its source. This involves analyzing one’s own needs and boundaries. Sometimes the reason for anger is not clear to us and stems from unconscious feelings. So it is worth looking at what is going on inside us in this particular situation. Then you should confront the reason for the agitation. There are known different ways to get angry. Not everyone will be suitable for all people, so you should choose your own methods that suit your needs and character. Anger involves not only the mind, but also the body, so you should think about discharging it with physical training, for example. When thinking about how to stop anger, it’s worth learning about relaxation techniques, for example. You can also try visualization to imagine anger escaping. A way to express negative emotions can also be to say out loud which of our needs have not been met or what boundaries have been crossed. It’s also a good idea to take a breath and try to analyze the situation and determine if it is a real threat. Discharging anger in a constructive way can thus have many benefits. We learn something about ourselves, relieve tension, sometimes even overcome our own limitations in action. Constructive expression of anger allows us to recognize our own needs, confront and solve the problem, and discharge tension in a healthy and safe way. Released and expressed anger can be such a way to break down mental barriers that keep us from changing our lives for the better. Under the influence of strong agitation, it is easier to take actions that are not in our habits.
Anger – how not to turn it into rage
Another important aspect of experiencing anger is doing it in such a way that it does not turn into rage. Rage is also an emotional state, but much more violent. It can even lead to violence. The important thing in this case is to know how to control anger. Healthy experience of it can prevent the emotion from turning into rage. Therefore, you should confront your experience and its source. Then you can defuse the rising tension before it turns into something more intense and destructive. It’s also a good idea to know your emotions thoroughly so you can sense the moment when anger can turn into something worse. Knowing your emotions and reactions is always valuable knowledge. One way to prevent anger from escalating is to release it early enough. This can be done in a variety of ways. Once one knows how to release anger, it is easier to control it and prevent the conflict from escalating. You can then avoid situations in which agitation takes over and you lose control.
Anger without reason – what to do?
Sometimes we may realize that we are often agitated, but we cannot recognize the source of this feeling. Constant anger is also a cause for concern. When it accompanies us constantly, we should look into it and consult a specialist. This is because it is not an emotion that should appear so often. Sometimes, when anger is too violent and uncontrollable, there may be something more behind it, such as borderline personality disorder ( borderline personality). Sometimes people who are around people with borderline may think that their anger without reason has no justification. Meanwhile, people struggling with such personality traits experience deep suffering, such as that associated with a pattern of abandonment.
In the case of anger disorders, it is worth going to a specialist. He will determine how serious the problem is. He can also direct the person struggling with the problem to work on it. Cognitive-behavioral therapy or schema therapy may work in this case. In therapy, one can confront the source of one’s anger, talk about methods of releasing it, and consider which one is effective in one’s situation.
Thus, anger is an emotion that accompanies everyone. It is a natural reaction that occurs when one is agitated. It activates the whole organism and puts people in readiness to defend themselves against a threat. It is good to know that expressing anger is not something inappropriate, contrary to what you sometimes hear from others. It is also good to figure out how to control anger and how to express it in a way that will not be destructive. For anger is worth expressing, but it should not be allowed to take control of our behavior. After all, unbridled emotions can hurt us and those around us. There are many methods of dealing with anger, from physically releasing tension to verbally outlining one’s boundaries. It’s important to remember that there are plenty of benefits to expressing anger constructively. In contrast, suppressing emotions can result in problems and disorders. When anger begins to get out of control – for example, it appears without reason or accompanies us constantly – it is worth going to a specialist for help. He or she may decide that therapy is necessary to control the emotion. However, it is worth remembering that healthy anger is normal and should be expressed in a constructive and respectful manner towards others.
If you are struggling with the problem of excessive anger, make an appointment – online psychotherapy.