Have you ever wondered why it takes you an hour to choose a movie for the evening? Or why buying new shoes requires browsing the offerings of seven stores? Daily tasks such as these can lead to FOBO. You may be suffering from FOBO(Fear Of Better Option)-a syndrome that has been gaining popularity in recent years and is affecting more and more people.
Find out what FOBO is, in what areas of life it can manifest itself, and how to deal with it
What exactly is FOBO ( fear of better option) ?
FOBO is a psychological mechanism that manifests itself as decision paralysis resulting from the belief that the decision made may not be the best one. Unlike the more well-known FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), which deals with the fear of missing out on events and experiences; FOBO focuses on the fear of making a choice that may be inferior to other available options.
Anxiety about making a decision? Symptoms
FOBO is nothing more than a persistent feeling that there may be a better choice than the one you are about to make, which can lead to analysis paralysis and indecision. The most common symptoms are:
- Chronic questioning of your own opinion.
- Lack of confidence in the decisions you make.
- Constant hesitation, procrastination.
- Obsessive analysis and consideration of all possible options.
- Frequent comparison of one’s choices with those of others.
- The need to consult decisions with many people, even though it doesn’t help to make the final choice anyway.
Lack of certainty in decision-making is one of the main symptoms of FOBO, leading to chronic hesitation and procrastination. What may seem like a trivial problem actually significantly reduces the quality of life and leads to wasting valuable time and energy.
Why is FOBO different from FOMO?
Patrick McGinnis, author of the book “The 10% Entrepreneur” and creator of the terms FOMO and FOBO, defines the latter phenomenon as the inability to make a decision due to the constant search for the perfect solution.
Although both terms were coined by McGinnis and refer to anxieties related to choices, they function in quite different ways:
- FOMO pushes us to say “yes” to everything around us for fear of missing out on something valuable.
- FOBO holds us back from making any decision, for fear of choosing an option that is not optimal.
New concepts such as FOBO and FOMO are shaping our perception of reality, influencing a variety of emotions and fears that can affect society in the digital age. McGinnis defines FOBO as “paralysis at the prospect of actually engaging in something, for fear that we might choose something that is not the ideal option.” It is this paralysis that leads to constant postponement of decisions and avoidance of commitments.
Research conducted by Schwartz (2004) in his book “The Paradox of Choice” shows that an overabundance of options leads to greater stress and lower satisfaction with decisions. This phenomenon, known as the “paradox of choice,” is directly related to FOBO.
The paradox of choice
Imagine walking into an ice cream store – when you have three flavors to choose from, the decision comes easily and you leave satisfied with your vanilla cone. But what happens when you’re suddenly standing in front of a counter with 50 flavors? Instead of euphoria over so many options, you feel growing anxiety, doubt and pressure. “What if I choose the wrong flavor? Maybe the one with pistachios and salted caramel would be better than the one with white chocolate and raspberry?” Barry Schwartz, the psychologist who popularized this phenomenon, noted something that each of us intuitively feels – sometimes the richness of choice leads not to greater freedom and satisfaction, but to decision paralysis and disappointment. It’s like a TV remote control with a hundred buttons, of which we use maybe five, and the rest just create confusion. The paradox of choice reminds us that sometimes less really is more – especially when it comes to our inner harmony and satisfaction with our decisions.
FOBO at work and in business
In a professional environment, FOBO manifests itself particularly clearly. According to a survey by McKinsey & Company (2019), managers spend an average of 37% of their time on decision-making, and 58% believe that decision-making in their organizations is inefficient. Leaders affected by FOBO syndrome often fail to approve new projects or ideas because they keep wondering if it’s “definitely” the best option.
Employees affected by FOBO often have difficulty making decisions, which affects efficiency and innovation in the workplace. Additionally, 22% of employees are concerned that their jobs may become obsolete due to FOBO, leading to the need for retraining to adapt to the changing job market.
Paradoxically, this reluctance to make decisions leads to:
- Stifling innovation.
- Slowing down processes.
- Frustration within the team.
- Lost time and resources.
In the context of innovation, a key element is testing ideas and accepting that most will fail. A Harvard Business Review study (2021) found that companies capable of making quick decisions and adapting to change perform 25% better financially than their competitors suffering from organizational FOBOs.
The neurobiological basis of FOBOs
Research by Damasio (1994) in the field of decision neuroscience shows that effective decision-making requires both rational analysis and emotional intelligence. People with strong FOBO rely excessively on the prefrontal cortex, responsible for analysis, while ignoring signals from the limbic system, which is responsible for intuitive decision-making.
Controlling one’s own thoughts and understanding their impact on decision-making is key to dealing with FOBOs. Increased awareness of oneself, one’s emotions and needs can help one cope better with FOBOs, as it affects better decision-making and greater agency.
An interesting light is also shed on this phenomenon by a study by Iyengar and Lepper (2000), in which it was proven that presenting people with too many choices (in this case, 24 different jams vs. 6 jams) significantly reduces the likelihood of making any choice. When there were fewer options, 30% of participants made a purchase; when there were more options, only 3% did.
FOBO in interpersonal relationships
FOBO can have a significant impact on our relationships. As Finkel et al. (2012) showed in their study “The Suffocation Model,” modern expectations of romantic relationships are higher than ever before, leading to a constant search for the “perfect partner.” In the era of dating apps, the theoretically unlimited access to potential partners means that people with FOBO tendencies may find it difficult to commit to a relationship, constantly wondering if they are missing out on someone “better.”
If you are unable to make up your mind and are constantly looking for better options, you will become a poor friend or business partner, which can lead to negative relationship consequences. A 2018 Tinder survey found that 72% of millenials consciously chose to be single for a period of time, often because of the belief that there are still better options to explore.
FOBOs and mental health
Chronic FOBO can have serious consequences for mental health. A study by the American Psychological Association (2020) found a correlation between difficulty making decisions and increased levels of anxiety and depression. FOBO is often associated with anxiety, which can lead to increased levels of stress and depression. Constantly dithering over decisions and feeling that our choices are not good enough leads to chronic stress. If you are facing these types of difficulties, contact us – online psychotherapy.
Kahneman’s (2011) research on happiness and satisfaction shows that people who accept “good enough” decisions (the so-called “satisficing” strategy) are generally happier than those who constantly strive to optimize every choice (so-called “maximizers”).
FOBO vs. artificial intelligence
Paradoxically, the development of artificial intelligence may simultaneously exacerbate FOBO and at the same time offer tools to overcome it. On the one hand, algorithms are providing us with more and more selected options – from product suggestions to movie suggestions to potential romantic partners – which only exacerbates the feeling of being overwhelmed by choices. Research by MIT Technology Review (2023) shows that 67% of users of AI-enabled platforms may experience increased decision-making anxiety.
On the other hand, AI assistants specifically designed to aid decision-making are already emerging that analyze our preferences, values and past choices to help narrow the decision field.
AI should support our decisions but not replace them entirely, which can lead to deficits in the areas of decision-making and critical thinking. Recent research indicates that a hybrid approach is most effective, where artificial intelligence helps search and pre-filter options, but the final choice based on deeper values and intuition, remains in the hands of humans.
How to effectively deal with FOBOs?
Overcoming FOBO requires conscious effort and specific strategies. Here are some proven methods:
- Limit the number of options: instead of analyzing every possible option, narrow down your choices to the most important few. This will help reduce the feeling of overwhelm and make decision-making easier.
- Prioritize: focus on what is most important to you. Defining your priorities will help you focus on the key aspects and minimize distractions from less important options.
- Give yourself time: don’t rush into decisions. Give yourself time to think about and evaluate the options available to you. Sometimes the best decisions require a moment of reflection.
- Trust yourself: remember that there are no perfect decisions. Trust your instincts and experience. Even if your choice turns out to be suboptimal, you can always learn from your mistakes and adjust your actions in the future.
1. Set clear decision-making criteria
Research by Hammond, Keeney and Raiff (1999) of Harvard Business School shows that clear decision criteria significantly improve decision-making. Create your own set of criteria to help you prioritize options. Examples of criteria might include:
- Consistency with your values and goals.
- Impact on your well-being and energy.
- Potential long-term benefits.
- Ratio of effort to result.
2. Accept imperfection
Gerd Gigerenzer, in his book Risk Savvy (2014), outlines the principle of the good minimum, which is to look for a solution that is good enough, not perfect. The energy put into making the “perfect decision” is often not worth the emotional cost, time and effort. It turns out that a decision that initially seems right can turn out to be wrong after time and affect the future, creating tension and stress about being responsible for one’s choices.
3. Build self-awareness and confidence in yourself
Leary and Tangney’s (2012) research on self-knowledge shows that stronger self-awareness increases confidence when making decisions. Working on these aspects is fundamental:
- Know your values and priorities.
- Practice making small decisions without consulting others.
- Keep a decision journal to track which choices really mattered.
- Notice how often fears of a “bad decision” ultimately go unfulfilled.
4. Limit the number of options
According to research by Sheena Iyengar (2010), consciously limiting the number of options under consideration to the top 3-5 significantly eases decision-making and increases later satisfaction with the choice.
FOBO in a broader social context
FOBO does not exist in a vacuum – it is strongly linked to broader social phenomena. It is not only about digital skills, but also about understanding modern professional and social realities.
A culture of excess choice
Zygmunt Bauman’s (2000) sociological research on “liquid modernity” shows how modern consumer societies offer an unprecedented excess of choice, which paradoxically does not increase our sense of freedom and happiness, but rather leads to uncertainty and anxiety. An excess of choice puts pressure on decision-making, which can lead to stress and fear of the consequences of wrong choices.
Social media as a catalyst for FOBOs
A review of research by Kross et al. (2020) indicates that social media intensifies social comparisons and can increase decision-making tension. Social media platforms constantly present the “ideal” choices of others, prompting constant comparison of one’s own decisions with the (often idealized) choices of others. Fear of better options can lead to decision paralysis, as individuals fear they will choose the wrong option in the face of available alternatives.
FOBOs in different age groups
A study by the Pew Research Center (2021) found that FOBO is highest in people between the ages of 25 and 40 – the period when most life decisions are made about careers, where to live or starting a family. First experiences with technology can be crucial in shaping approaches to decision-making and dealing with FOBO. As we age, the tendency to FOBO gradually decreases, suggesting that life experience and wise acceptance of the imperfections of our choices may be natural antidotes to this syndrome.
The key to overcoming FOBO
The ability to make effective decisions in a world full of options and possibilities is becoming a key competency in both personal and professional life. As research by Gregory and Clemen (2001) shows, decision-making education can significantly improve the quality of choices and reduce the anxiety associated with the process.
Remember that no decision has to be perfect – just the right one. In most cases, the decision itself is better than no decision, and the action is better than no behavior. Perhaps this is what is most important, so that everyday life and the multitude of choices do not overwhelm us.
Bibliography:
- Bauman, Z. (2000). Liquid Modernity. Polity Press.
- Damasio, A. R. (1994). Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain. Putnam Publishing.
- Finkel, E. J., Hui, C. M., Carswell, K. L., & Larson, G. M. (2014). The suffocation of marriage: Climbing Mount Maslow without enough oxygen. Psychological Inquiry, 25(1), 1-41.
- Gigerenzer, G. (2014). Risk Savvy: How to Make Good Decisions. Viking.
- Gregory, R., & Clemen, R. (2001). Developing effective decision-making skills. Decision Research, Technical Report.
- Hammond, J. S., Keeney, R. L., & Raiffa, H. (1999). Smart Choices: A Practical Guide to Making Better Decisions. Harvard Business School Press.
- Iyengar, S. S., & Lepper, M. R. (2000). When choice is demotivating: Can one desire too much of a good thing? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79(6), 995-1006.
- Iyengar, S. (2010). The Art of Choosing. Twelve.
- Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, Fast and Slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
- Kross, E., Verduyn, P., Demiralp, E., Park, J., Lee, D. S., Lin, N., Shablack, H., Jonides, J., & Ybarra, O. (2013). Facebook use predicts declines in subjective well-being in young adults. PloS one, 8(8), e69841.
- Leary, M. R., & Tangney, J. P. (Eds.). (2012). Handbook of self and identity. Guilford Press.
- McGinnis, P. J. (2020). Fear of Missing Out: Practical Decision-Making in a World of Overwhelming Choice. Sourcebooks.
- McKinsey & Company. (2019). Decision making in the age of urgency. McKinsey Quarterly.
- Pew Research Center. (2021). Life choices and satisfaction across generations. Pew Social Trends.
- Schwartz, B. (2004). The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less. Harper Perennial.
- Tinder. (2018). Singles not sorry: The state of modern singlehood. Tinder Research Report.em FOBO.