Dying is not an easy topic. We don’t want to bring it up in conversation with loved ones, even when we feel it would be a good thing to do. And when someone else alludes to it even slightly, we try to quickly move on to another thread – one that won’t be as unpleasant.
But while dying is shrouded in a taboo deeply rooted in our society, it doesn’t become a phobia for every one of us. Few people like to think about passing – everyone is accompanied by some degree of fear of death and what comes after it. But when it is overwhelming and does not leave us even for a step, we may be dealing with thanatophobia. What is this anxiety disorder and how can it be dealt with? Is it possible for the paralyzing fear of dying to leave us?
Where does the fear of death come from in us?
Despite the fact that clergymen, philosophers and scientists have been analyzing all its aspects for hundreds of years, death hides a lot of secrets from us. We don’t really know what happens to a person who has died. Death is also difficult for us, because we have no control over it. It can come unexpectedly, at any time. In the morning, someone feels great, makes plans for a holiday vacation, and in the evening… he is gone. He leaves without saying goodbye, and we can never look him in the eye or hear his voice again. He’s gone, and we have to accept that all that’s left are the memories of shared moments.
This really hurts. This unpredictability and inevitability of death. The fact that there is no escape from it. That it can surprise at the most unexpected moment, and we can’t help it. That it takes away loved ones. That it affects not only the elderly, but also children and young people just shy of entering adulthood.
Is the simple fear of death normal?
We are all afraid of the unknown. And a great deal of uncertainty arises around the inevitability of death. We are all afraid of death, it is a natural fear.
We fear it:
– what the moment of our death will look like and when it will come,
– whether the dying process will be long and painful or quick and “gentle.”
– how loved ones will function after our death, leaving loved ones causes anxiety,
– what will happen to us after death (will eternal life await us, punishment, or maybe it will turn out that there will be absolutely nothing after death?).
And the fact that we fear this is perfectly natural – to a certain extent. Because if a morbid fear of death accompanies us almost all the time and does not allow us to focus on our daily lives, it is not worth downplaying it.
Does a strong fear of death have any advantages?
Fear of death, as long as it is not severely aggravated, has its advantages.
Thanks to it:
– we take care of our own health(I don’t want to die prematurely, so I eat well, do sports and get examined regularly.),
– we appreciate the moments we experience more(I know that nothing lasts forever, so I treasure every moment and see the beauty in it.),
– we want to make the most of the time we have available(Life is not given forever, so I want to make the most of my time and do what I love)
Panicky fear of death. Morbid fear ≠ danger
However, let’s think again about such a fear, which is really strong. It disturbs us so much that we can’t concentrate on anything. Only thoughts of death and how afraid we are of it are boiling in our heads. But the fact that such thoughts arise does not at all mean that death is already approaching us.
Signals sent by the body are not always associated with the fact that something bad is happening around us. As the eminent specialist, psychiatrist Antoni Kepinski, rightly pointed out in his book, nature actually never uses devices that are one hundred percent certain – and therefore allows for a large margin of error. Receptors pick up only some of the signals reaching them, blood vessels are not perfectly tight, and neither are myelin sheaths (the insulation of our nerve fibers). As you can see, they are imperfect.
Anxiety is not perfect either. It tries to protect us. It does this by estimating how big the chance is that something bad will happen to us:
Imagine seeing a tiger in front of us. If it weren’t for fear, we might think: “Oh, what a big kitty!” and ran to stroke its back (which would certainly not end well for us).
Fortunately, however, we are protected by the fear response. The body is ready to run away in a split second to get away from a potential threat. We can also freeze motionless, because the mind has recalculated that the tiger will not chase us if it does not pay attention to us.
Anxiety is therefore very necessary for us, because it protects us from what is threatening. It’s just that these days our body perceives as a threat no longer a tiger, but an email from an employer or a small dog on a leash. And sometimes we also fear what we can’t see at all – and this is the case with death.
That’s why it’s worth remembering that fear doesn’t necessarily mean that danger has appeared right next to us. However, it’s hard to treat it with detachment – after all, our whole body seems to be screaming that something is wrong.
Thanatophobia what is this fear?
Thanatophobia – is a fear of death that does not arise from a real threat. It is a type of phobia that involves feeling intense anxiety about one’s own death or the death of loved ones. This intense anxiety significantly impairs daily functioning, making it difficult to concentrate, cope with responsibilities at home and work, and socialize.
Symptoms of Thanatophobia
Let’s take a look at how thanatophobia manifests itself. It is characterized by:
- phobia of death, constant thinking about one’s own mortality, which hinders daily functioning,
- a person with thanatophobia often fears not only his own death, but also the death of loved ones. The sight of a funeral parlor or the thought of leaving loved ones behind can cause intense anxiety.
- avoidance of death-related situations (such as attending funerals),
- fear of the suffering with which we associate dying,
- treating any deterioration in health as a signal of impending death, causes panic fear,
- recurring negative thoughts about what will happen after our death and how loved ones will cope with it,
- paralyzing fear of “meeting death” (direct contact with the sufferer on his deathbed, watching the deceased),
- feeling strong anxiety at the sight of objects and places associated with death (cemeteries, candles, funeral parlor windows, a passing hearse),
- fear of leaving unresolved issues (unpaid loans, incurred debts, unfinished business),
- avoidance of conversations about death, watching movies where scenes related to dying appear, and reading news about fatal accidents.
- powerlessness felt due to the lack of acceptance of death (we can’taccept that it is an element inherent in life and cannot be avoided).
Physical symptoms, somatic symptoms
The most important physical symptoms are:
- shortness of breath,
- palpitations, accelerated heartbeat,
- dry mouth,
- acceleration of the heart rate,
- headaches and dizziness,
- excessive sweating,
- abdominal pain and nausea,
- faster and shallower breathing, accelerated breathing,
- a feeling of tightness in the throat (the so-called lump in the throat).
The appearance of unpleasant signals from the body is perceived as a harbinger of impending death and further intensifies anxiety. This is especially the case when shortness of breath and palpitations occur, as they can be interpreted by us as symptoms of a heart attack.
Fear of death – neurosis
Fear of death can (although not necessarily) be associated with neurosis. It then occurs along with its other symptoms, such as panic attacks, persistent thoughts of potential dangers, headaches and stomach aches, insomnia, chronic fatigue syndrome and a sense of detachment from reality.
The main distinction between thanatophobia and neurosis is the nature of the morbid anxiety. In the case of thanatophobia, one fears the phenomenon of death itself and what is associated with it. Neurosis, on the other hand, is characterized by anxiety focused on many different aspects of life – including daily activities and everyday functioning.
Thanatophobia vs. hypochondria
Anxiety about death can occur together with hypochondria, or anxiety about one’s own health. The overlap between these two anxiety disorders can manifest itself through a panicky fear of death triggered by talking about illnesses or receiving information about some condition that is somatic in nature.
Example: Berry heard about a new variant of the flu virus on the afternoon news. She quickly checked an online search engine for the symptoms of the disease it causes. Reviewing the list of symptoms with trepidation, the woman immediately thought: “Someone has definitely infected me with this already. Soon I won’t be able to get out of bed. I’m going to die.”
What are the types of fear of death?
We can distinguish the following types of death anxiety:
- fear of premature death,
- fear of the body after death (its appearance, decay, destruction),
- fear of approaching and experiencing death,
- anxiety about the lives of loved ones after our death (how they will cope without our presence),
- fear of a certain type of death (for example, one associated with prolonged suffering as a result of an incurable, slowly progressing disease),
- fear of apparent death (of the extremely unlikely situation of being buried while still alive).
Causes of Thanatophobia
There are many causes that can lead to thanatophobia. Among them are:
– being a witness to someone’s death,
– low level of satisfaction with life,
– low sense of self-efficacy,
– fear of suffering (experiencing terminal illness, associated with slow dying),
– fear of whether there will be salvation or punishment for sins after death (in the case of believers),
– experience of trauma, as a result of which our lives were directly threatened (such as an assault, fire, car accident),
– the experience of the death of a loved one as a child (especially if caregivers did not know how to explain the situation and we did not receive help from them in reliving the difficult emotions associated with the loss).
Fear of death at a young age. Do children also face thanatophobia?
Toddlers do not understand what death is – so they are not afraid of it at all. Five-year-olds, on the other hand, treat death like a parting. It seems to them that the deceased lives on, but in some other place, such as a cemetery. For a child of this age, death seems very intriguing, and parents only fuel curiosity, as they generally give evasive answers and avoid talking about the subject.
Around the age of seven, the child begins to understand that death is irreversible and affects everyone. He then realizes that he himself will die someday, but this is such a distant prospect that it seems almost impossible. At that time he does not yet, as a rule, feel the fear associated with dying.
The fear of death is experienced around the age of ten. At that time, the child also gradually begins to develop an adult idea of death – a natural, irreversible process and one that no one can control. And it is this understanding of death that fosters fears that can deepen significantly during adolescence.
Adolescence is in itself a difficult stage. It is a time of intense search for one’s identity and the meaning of life. At that time, a number of different ethical and worldview questions arise and awareness grows on many important topics. A strong fear of death and a sense of helplessness in the face of the vision of losing one’s loved ones may then arise.
Thanatophobia and faith – what is the relationship between religiosity and fear of death?
The development of thanatophobia is strongly influenced by issues of faith and the value system adhered to. However, it cannot be said that greater religiosity increases or decreases the risk of thanatophobia. In fact, the most important thing is how we perceive death.
Faith can lead us to view death as the beginning of something entirely new. When we see it as a natural end to the earthly journey and a passage to heaven, it becomes a source of great hope for us. It represents a “door to eternity,” opening up the chance for entirely new and beyond our consciousness possibilities. The vision of eternal life can fill us with hope,
However, on the other hand, we may fear how our deeds will be judged. We believe that with the cessation of vital functions, there will be a judgment, after which we will be met with eternal happiness or eternal damnation. And if we believe that we have committed such sins for which we will not be forgiven, fear of punishment arises in us.
Treatment of thanatophobia. How to deal with thanatophobia?
Treatment of fear of death often requires professional support. One of the most effective methods is cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, recommended for anxiety disorders and phobias. Sometimes it is combined with pharmacotherapy (especially when anxiety symptoms are so intractable that they almost completely prevent functioning).
Pharmacological treatment for death anxiety
Pharmacological treatment can be used to treat thanatophobia (morbid fear of death), but it is usually not the first or only effective treatment. The most common use is
- Antidepressants. Various antidepressants are often used for severe anxiety attacks associated with thanatophobia. These can help relieve anxiety symptoms.
- Pharmacotherapy used, as part of a comprehensive treatment plan, combined with other forms of therapy, such as psychotherapy.
- Treatment of panic attacks: If thanatophobia is accompanied by frequent panic attacks, and their symptoms can adversely affect the patient’s mental and physical health. In such cases, medication can help control acute anxiety symptoms.
How does cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy help treat thanatophobia?
The main goal of psychotherapy is to find and transform incorrect beliefs. These are what make it so difficult for us to deal with the fear of death. Fortunately, these beliefs can be worked on – and completely new ways of thinking about the reality around us can bedeveloped.People suffering from thanatophobia can learn to cope with their fear and regain control over their lives.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy also makes us learn more about how our psyche works. We learn about the mechanism of anxiety and the ways in which troublesome, recurring thoughts are formed. But that’s not all – because we additionally learn how to use this knowledge for our own benefit. During therapy, we receive a handful of practical tips to help us deal with the various problems we experience on a daily basis.Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be an effective form of therapy for treating thanatophobia. CBT focuses on changing the thinking and behavior that leads to negative emotions and mental ailments.
Here are some ways cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy can help treat thanatophobia:
- Recognizing and understanding irrational thoughts. CBT helps a person with thanatophobia identify and understand irrational thoughts related to death. By analyzing these thoughts, the therapist and patient work together to change them to more realistic and positive ones.
- Work on changing perspective, learning to stop at the present moment, enjoying life’s small pleasures and warm moments.
- Modification of beliefs. The therapist, a psychologist, helps identify beliefs and convictions deeply rooted in the patient’s mind regarding death. The goal is to change negative beliefs into more positive and realistic ones.
- Exposure to deep anxiety. Cognitive-behavioral therapy uses exposure techniques such as in vivo exposure. The patient is gradually and controllably exposed to death-related thoughts to gradually reduce anxiety symptoms.
- Developing coping skills. The psychotherapist can teach the patient effective coping strategies for dealing with death-related anxiety. These can include relaxation techniques, breathing techniques or thinking strategies.
- Changing avoidant behavior. CBT helps identify and change avoidance behaviors, which are actions taken to avoid death-related situations. Changing these behaviors can help reduce anxiety.
Death phobias can be effectively treated. Get therapy to regain your joy in life. Make your first appointment and get started!
Bibliography:
Guzowski, A., Krajewska-Kułak, E., Bejda, G. (eds.). (2016). Culture of death, culture of dying. Volume 1. Bialystok.
Kępiński, A. (1977). Anxiety. Warsaw, Wydawnictwo Literackie.
Messiah, J. (2010). Curse or gift of passing? A study in thanatopsychology, Warsaw, Difin Publishing House.