Do you happen to lose yourself in fantasies so deep that you lose track of time? Do you sometimes discover that you’ve spent hours on imaginary scenarios, while actual experiences are left out. If these situations sound familiar, you may be dealing with maladaptive daydreaming – a phenomenon that affects more people than you might think.
What is maladaptive daydreaming?
Maladaptive daydreaming, or maladaptive daydreaming, is much more than simple daydreaming. It’s an intense, long-lasting fantasy that begins to dominate daily life. While normal daydreaming is brief and does not have a disruptive effect on functioning, maladaptive daydreaming can consume hours and seriously disrupt daily activities.
The person experiencing this phenomenon often creates elaborate, cinematic scenarios with detailed characters, plots and worlds. These fantasies can be so engaging that they become more appealing than reality.
Main symptoms of maladaptive daydreaming
Intensity and duration. Fantasies can consume anywhere from a few minutes to several hours a day. They are often highly detailed, multithreaded stories with complex characters and complicated relationships.
Loss of control. A strong, almost compulsive need to fantasize arises. Attempts to interrupt the dreams cause frustration, and returning to reality can be painful.
Triggers. Dreams are often triggered by specific stimuli: favorite music, scenes from movies, solitude, or even specific places or times of day.
Impact on daily life. Fantasizing begins to interfere with work duties, study, social relationships and basic activities.
Emotional reactions. Episodes of daydreaming are often followed by feelings of guilt, shame or frustration. At the same time, fantasies can evoke intense emotions – joy, sadness, excitement.
Accompanying difficulties
Maladaptive daydreaming rarely occurs alone. It often co-occurs with:
- Concentration and memory problems.
- Sleep disorders.
- A drop in mood.
- Difficulty establishing and maintaining relationships.
- Procrastination and avoidance of responsibilities.
Is maladaptive daydreaming a disease?
Maladaptive daydreaming is not officially recognized as a disorder in the DSM-5 or ICD-11 diagnostic classifications. However, researchers have developed assessment tools such as the Maladaptive Daydreaming Scale (MDS) to help determine the severity of the problem and its impact on functioning.
The lack of an official diagnosis does not mean the problem is not serious. Many people experiencing MD describe a significant impact on the quality and experience of their lives.
Where does maladaptive daydreaming come from?
The causes of maladaptive daydreaming are not fully understood, but researchers point to several potential sources:
Defense mechanism. Fantasizing can be a way of coping with stress, trauma, anxiety or depression. For some people, the world of imagination becomes a safe haven from a difficult reality.
Comorbid disorders. Maladaptive daydreaming MD often accompanies ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety disorders and depression. It can be both a symptom and a way of coping with these difficulties.
Personality predisposition. Individuals with a rich imagination, high creativity and a tendency to fantasize seem more prone to developing this phenomenon.
Consequences of maladaptive daydreaming
Maladaptive daydreaming can lead to serious difficulties in various areas of life:
Social relationships
Fantasizing often replaces actual social contact. A person may prefer the company of imaginary characters, leading to isolation and weakened ties with family and friends.
Productivity
Work and study suffer when a significant part of the day is devoted to fantasizing. Deadlines are not met, projects remain unfinished, and overall productivity declines.
Mental health
Paradoxically, while dreams may initially bring relief, over time they often lead to lowered self-esteem, increased guilt and a worsening of the problems from which they were an escape.
How to deal with maladaptive daydreaming?
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) This is the most effective treatment for MD. The therapist helps identify triggers, understand the mechanisms of fantasizing and develop control strategies. The work also focuses on developing skills to deal with stress and difficult emotions in a healthier way.
Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) Especially helpful for people who use fantasizing as a way to regulate emotions. Teaches mindfulness techniques and stress tolerance.
Treatment of co-occurring disorders
When MD accompanies depression, anxiety or ADHD, treatment of these problems often leads to a reduction in the intensity of daydreaming. Antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications or other medications may be used as needed.
Self-help strategies – how to cope?
Recognizing patterns. Keeping a diary will help identify when and under what circumstances fantasies occur. Knowing your own triggers is the first step to better control.
Limit exposure to triggers. If certain music or movies trigger episodes of daydreaming, it’s a good idea to temporarily limit contact with them or prepare for their impact.
Structuring the day. Setting specific, achievable goals and creating a clear schedule reduces the space for uncontrolled fantasizing.
Mindfulness techniques. Meditation and mindfulness exercises help you better control your thoughts and more easily return to the present.
Physical activity. Regular exercise engages both body and mind, which can reduce the temptation to escape into fantasies.
Building a support system
Talking to loved ones about your experiences can bring great relief. Many people are ashamed of their problem, but openness often leads to understanding and support. There are also online support groups where you can meet other people with similar experiences.
When to seek professional help?
If daydreaming:
- Takes up a significant part of the day (more than 1-2 hours).
- Makes it difficult to perform daily duties.
- Leads to social isolation.
- Evokes intense feelings of guilt or shame.
- Co-occurs with symptoms of depression or anxiety.
It is worth consulting a psychologist or psychotherapist. A professional will help assess the situation and choose the appropriate form of help.
Schema therapy vs. maladaptive daydreaming – the role of disconnected defender mode
Maladaptive daydreaming can be understood as one of the maladaptive coping strategies, which in schema therapy are called modes (Read: what are modes?) A particularly pertinent connection is the “detached protector” (Detached Protector) mode, which acts as a protective mechanism designed to protect a person from experiencing difficult, painful emotions and traumatic memories.
Characteristic of this mode is emotional distancing, withdrawal from contact with the world and one’s own feelings, often taking the form of detachment and even avoidance through escape into fantasies. In everyday functioning, this can manifest itself in an attitude of seemingly “head in the clouds” or a complete disappearance of thoughts from reality – which is close to the experience of maladaptive daydreaming.
Schema therapy offers tools for recognizing and working with this mode – it helps raise awareness of the use of emotional disconnection as a form of defense, and supports the development of skills to consciously manage this mode.
Through dialogue with modes, imaginal techniques and working with emotions, schema therapy seeks to weaken the dominance of the disconnected defender, strengthening contact with emotions and true needs, developing the mode of a healthy adult who can assess situations and respond appropriately. In this way, the patient gradually learns to integrate difficult feelings and abandons escape into fantasies as the main way of coping.
Summary
Fantasizing in itself is not bad – it is a natural and creative activity of the mind. The problem arises when we lose our balance with reality. The goal is not to eliminate dreams completely, but to learn to control them so that they serve rather than dominate.
Although maladaptive daydreaming often appears as a solitary escape into a fantasy world, it is worth remembering that behind this phenomenon are universal needs and unresolved emotions that connect many people. Understanding the mode of the disconnected defender and its role in shaping this form of defense allows us not only to discover internal mechanisms, but also opens the door to real change.
Your experience is not isolated or incomprehensible – it is part of a larger process of finding balance between the inner world and reality. Therapy gives you the opportunity to gradually disarm your escape mechanisms and build a real life from which you can also draw and experience real moments, which don’t always have to be bad.
Literature:
- Somer, E. (2017). Maladaptive Daydreaming: A Qualitative Inquiry.
- Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man’s Search for Meaning.
- Kishimi, I. & Koga, F. (2013). The Courage to Be Disliked.
- Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life.
- Ked, D. (2021). Demons Within Schizophrenia and Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder. Balboa Press.
- Trauer, T. & Wiles, J. (2020). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Maladaptive Daydreaming.